Selasa, 28 Disember 2010

Level 5.5

Level 5.5

Mission: Dredging Works @ Boustead Naval Shipyard

Job: Macai yang keji lagi hina...

How do I get this gig: As per instructed by Managing Director.

Ally: Taufik & Survey Dept.

Skills: Site Diary, PR and late nights...

Verdict: Need to learn new language... LOL!

Ahad, 19 Disember 2010

Lumut 2010 Part 2

nice view, eh?
pic taken from site office cum condo...
haha !
sometimes, i felt lucky n loving this job...
sometimes, NOT !

Selasa, 14 Disember 2010

Jumaat, 10 Disember 2010

Rabu, 24 November 2010

Google Images

gua tanya lebai google,
gua taip, "malaysian propaganda poster"
cantek punya placing kat box google tue...
lu orang teka,
apa gua jumpa?














gua speechless...

Jumaat, 19 November 2010

Jumaat, 12 November 2010

A rugby story

(I told this story to my family, and they had a good laugh)

Here goes…

There is one chap at the office keep on telling stories about his involvement to the gentleman game – rugby.

One day, after visiting Pak Mer at SJMC during lunch…

Chap : Lambat masuk, ko pergi mana tadi?

Me : Aku melawat adik aku kat SJMC, injured masa main ragbi…

Chap : Oh ye ker? (Acuh x acuh) Adik ko main team mana?

Me : NS Wanderers…

Sejak hari itu, tiada lagi cerita2 ragbi dari beliau… Ahh… bliss… J

KAH ! KAH ! KAH !

Isnin, 8 November 2010

the apartment

last saturday was fun,
pak mer decide to belanja us, the zed makan.
it was at the apartment, the curve.
the wifey dah bising2 about alcohol and what not.
if only she knew what i consume back then?
kah kah kah !
all in all it was a great outing.
maybe we should eat out a lot more, eh?

thank you pak mer, from the bottom of my heart.

cheers bro !

Rabu, 3 November 2010

Tribute utk Ramlee b. Putih

Kau lagenda kau genius

Kau tersohor kau director

Kau pelakon pemuzik pun engkau

Roda kehidupan

Kejap kau di atas

Kejap kau di bawah

Kadang2 kau dipuja

Tak kurang juga yang menghina

Memang hidup ini

Tak selalu yang diimpi

Semoga kau sentiasa diingati

Allahyarham 'Tan Sri'

P. Ramlee…


p/s: Sebak juga layan P. Ramlee kat history channel. Huhu.

Sabtu, 30 Oktober 2010

Perihal Futsal

Al-kisah seekor makhluk,
Pabila diajak,
Jual Mahal !
Pabila orang bergambar,
Tak senang hati,
Mencaci Maki,
Apa punya puki?
Sembang boleh la, brader...

Zzz.

Khamis, 28 Oktober 2010

B.o.B - Airplanes (Feat. Hayley Williams of Paramore)


" Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now... "

" Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my ban
k "

Isnin, 25 Oktober 2010

Tabiat Buruk Alaf Baru?

Gua x tau lu orang.

Tapi gua dah mula inherited tabiat2 x senonoh ini.

Mari kita saksikan…

- Update status facebook yang entah apa2…

-Menukar gambar profile facebook almost every day…

-Membuat nota2 gampang di facebook yang entah kan relevan atau tidak?

- Meng'like' comment atau status sapa2 ntah?

- Kalau pergi mana2, kucar kacir check in di foursquare !

- Mem'follow' artis2 barat yang entah apa2 di twitter !!

- Dan akhir sekali, blogging benda2 yang tiada 'essence' seperti ini.

KAH KAH KAH !

Khamis, 21 Oktober 2010

Membeli Rumah Part 2

Part 1

Scene 1 Take 1 Action

Wifey : Bila kita nak beli rumah?

Gua : Bila you nak habis bayar hutang ptptn?

Wifey : . . .


Scene 2 Ready for take, action !

Wifey : Bila kita nak beli rumah?

Gua : Bila gua pinjam 300k, bayar 300k.

Wifey : . . .

Isnin, 18 Oktober 2010

Sembang Bola Ngan Isteri Part 2

Part 1 di sini.

Sebelum tournament futsal jabatan laut...

Wifey : Pinjam baju liverpool you, boleh?

Gua : (Eh, bini aku dah tukar team ker?)

Nota kaki -

Wifey : Baju chelsea I kotor lah...

Cheese nan betul !

Kah kah kah.

Jumaat, 15 Oktober 2010

Suede - The Beautiful Ones



"Beautiful Ones"

High on diesel and gasoline,
psycho for drum machine
shaking their bits to the hits,
Drag acts, drug acts, suicides,
in your dad's suits you hide
staining his name again,
Cracked up, stacked up, 22,
psycho for sex and glue
lost it to Bostik, yeah,
Shaved heads, rave heads,
on the pill, got too much time to kill
get into bands and gangs,

Oh, here they come,
the beautiful ones,
the beautiful ones

loved up, Doved up, hung around,
stoned in a lonely town
shaking their meat to the beat,
High on diesel and gasoline,
psycho for drum machine
shaking their bits to the hits,

Oh, here they come,
the beautiful ones,
the beautiful ones.

You don't think about it,
You don't do without it,
because you're beautiful,
And if your baby's going crazy
that's how you made me,

la, la, la, la...

Isnin, 11 Oktober 2010

10 10 10

Ten ten ten (gila lame sial intro)

"Ada apa dgn 10 10 10? Kah kah kah"
(that was my facebook status on that date.)

Being cynical and all that is like a defence mechanism.

First, the wife want to go, then bailed out last minute.

I was planning to met long time folks, and its auto cancelled.

Cool eh?

Anyway, congratulations you...

Ten ten ten (i know it's lame, so?)

Jumaat, 8 Oktober 2010

The Next Level

Gua x pasti sampai bila gua hendak terus begini.

Hari2 berholy trinity (Facebook-Blogger-Twitter)

Makan gaji buta hari hari.

Bagi makan anak bini.

Apa lanchau semua ini?

Bukan gua x belajar agama, tapi perlaksanaannya?

Macam mana? Bagaimana?

Dah lah gua stress ngan dept. baru nie.

Mentang2 gua budak baru(?) dalam dept.

Suruh gua buat kerja remeh.

Ingat gua Photostat engineer?

Ingat gua Scanner Engineer?

Ingat gua Lipat drawing Engineer?

Gua tau, gua SPM sajer.

Jangan hina gua.

Gua juga seperti lu, ada hati dan perasaan…

(Kimak apa entry aku kali nie?)

Khamis, 7 Oktober 2010

Level 5

Level 5

Mission: Permit & Environment Dept.

Job: Technical Engineer

How do I get this gig: As per instructed by General Manager. J

Ally: Hasif, Survey Dept. & Khairul Rizal.

Skills: The Holy Trinity (Facebook, Blogger & Twitter)

Verdict: Pls refer level 1. HAHAHA.

Rabu, 6 Oktober 2010

Level 4

Level 4

Mission: Kuching Flood Mitigation - Reclamation

Job: Project Engineer

How do I get this gig: One of the Directors instructed me, ASAP!

Ally: Asrun, Raman & Capt. Kim

Skills: Korean language, Daily Bridge Report, eating Kim Chi, usha awek Iban, etc etc.

Verdict: First time company sponsor tiket MAS. HAHAHA.

Selasa, 5 Oktober 2010

Level 3.5

Level 3.5

Mission: Tanjung Bin – Reclamation & Revetment

Job: Environmental Officer

How do I get this gig: One of the Directors called & instructed me to go at the project. ASAP!

Ally: Che Ku & Sarapi.

Skills: Tagalog, Dutch, ngular ke Jusco, usha makwe gerai, etc etc

Verdict: Dutch + Pinoy = WTF is this combo? HAHAHA.

Isnin, 4 Oktober 2010

Level 3

Level 3

Mission: K.T Airport – Reclamation & Revetment

Job: QA / QC Environmental Engineer

How do I get this gig: The project manager 'direct nego' with the previous one. Boleh?

Ally: JKR & Megaconsult.

Skills: Bahasa Ganu, rock cumulative report, copy pasta document, etc etc

Verdict: How I meet Nur Ain Hidayah's mother? J

Jumaat, 1 Oktober 2010

Level 2

Level 2

Mission : Port Klang Capital Dredging

Job : Environmental Officer

How do i get the job : "Hang pandai baca GPS tak?" I said YES.

Ally : Port Klang Authority & ESI.

Skills : English, taking notes, make report, site visit, etc etc.

Verdict : Pussy Galore. HAHAHA. :P

Khamis, 30 September 2010

Engineer : The Game




Level 1 : Dok kat hq terhangak2 x tau nak buat apa.

Aku mengalaminya selama 1 bulan.

HAHAHA.

esok Level 2!

Rabu, 29 September 2010

Trankuiliti Repek

Ayam jantan berkokok nyaring.

Ayam betina melenggang tongkeng kejap ke kiri kejap ke kanan.

Usai solat subuh, sarapan nasi dibawa kemas.

Air di cerek dapur berasap menandakan Neskepa tarik minta dikucar.

Dia bersarapan dengan penuh selera, sambil berbual dengan isteri tercinta.

Selesai sarapan dia menggenggam neskepa ke depan rumah.

Pek danhill masih bersisa, diambil satu dinyala rapi.

Fuhh… Hembusan asap memenuhi laman.

Ayam jantan sambung berkokok.

Mungkin inilah yang dinamakan "Trankuiliti Repek"

HAHAHA.

Ilham : True. Poser. J

Selasa, 28 September 2010

Tentang Dajjal

It's a tricky question

Gua : Nanti kalau Dajjal offer you syurga atau neraka, you pilih aper?

Bini Gua : Syurga.

Sah ! Bini gua kena mengaji semula.

Hahaha.

p/s: Saya bukan ustaz. Saya adik ipar ustaz.

:)

Isnin, 27 September 2010

Everclear - I Will Buy You A New Life



I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shiny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will

Haha. :P

Khamis, 23 September 2010

Isnin, 20 September 2010

Sekitar Raya 2010

I
Sesi Borak2 ngan Ishi
Aku : Ishi, ko suka beraya kat ner?
Ishi : Aku x kisah raya mana2, yang penting bersama famili.
Damn, his answer pacified me.

II
"Best juger konvoi ramai2 nie..."
-Bini gua ketika beraya di Rembau (kg. bapak gua)-

III
Rokok Scene 1
Bapa Mertua : Lan hisap rokok ker?
Bini Gua : Takdelah. Kadang2 jer tue.
(Eleh, nak coverline lah tue...)

IV
Rokok Scene 2
Bapa Mertua : Lan hisap rokok ker?
Gua : A'ah. Ingatkan ayah dah tahu?
Bapa Mertua : Ayah tak tahu...
(Berani kerana benar, rite?)

V
Duit Raya Nur Ain Hidayah bt. Mohd Azlan ada dalam RM417.
Gua ingat nak sambar Levi's POST RAYA satu.
Amacam ok ker?

Er, how was ur raya? :)

Selasa, 7 September 2010

Pengalaman saya berpuasa di S.R.K Jalan Gurney (2)

Buat bersungguh2.

Hari itu hari Jumaat. Cuaca panas, terik. Time panas2 beginilah, budak2 darjah 6 Mawar nak main kejar2. Dah lah puasa. Aku layankan ajer. Main kejar2 memang in time tue, selain daripada main bola, main chop dan polis sentri.

Selesai main kejar2, loceng tamat rehat hampir berbunyi, aku usha kiri kanan. Line clear, getus hatiku. Pelan2 aku gerak pergi kantin skolah. Air sirap satu, aku order. Niat dulu, "Sahaja aku berbuka..." Sirap ditelan, aku senyum kepuasan.

Petang tue, ayah amik time balik sekolah. Dia tanya, "Puasa tak?" Aku dengan lemah longlai bohong sunat, "Puasa..."

Sekian, pengalaman saya ber'puasa' di S.R.K Jalan Gurney (2)

Moral : Jangan tipu ayah kita. Berdosa !

Khamis, 2 September 2010

The Day You Knew

One fine day, whilst fooling around...

Me : Hi, nama saya Karim. Anda bagaimana?

Her: (Confused, dazed and took a long pause...)

Her: Hi, saya Qarimah. Selamat berkenalan.

(Sambil buat muka comel... kan...)

Qarimah an?

Adoyai.

She suprises me. Big time.

That day, i knew. :)

Tiga Serangkai


Blogger-Twitter-Facebook : The Holy Trinity of Time Waisting.

HAHAHA.

Rabu, 1 September 2010

Hilang Punca 2060

(Penggunaan tajuk entri masih dalam permohonan)

Baca sini dahulu.

Gua login facebook.
Ada friend request.
Apa mimpi pipiyapong add gua?
Dulu, masa gua tegur buat tak endah saje.
Gua berang. Pelan2 gua click ignore.
Gua sambung main mousehunt.

Amacam pipiyapong? Ok ker?

Rabu, 25 Ogos 2010

Tranquility Terendak

(aku pun nak trankuiliti juger)

First time masa aku dengar perkataan trankuiliti adalah masa di sekolah menengah dulu.

Masa tue, Magic : The Gathering memang hot.

Betul tak Ayun?

Bukti :

Maksud : Hancurkan Semua Pesona (Google Translate)

Pergh, Proton Pesona ke?

Selasa, 24 Ogos 2010

Novel

Aku ingat nak tulis novel lah...

Scene blook2 indie macam boleh pergi jer...

Aku dapat title baik punya.

"Lagenda Budak Maktab"

Amacam?

Ahadiat Akashah, nak collabo tak?

Hehe.

Khamis, 19 Ogos 2010

Aku, Ayah & Liverpool

Trying to create a conversation…

Aku : Ayah, bila kita nak pergi Liverpool? (tiba2?)

Ayah : Asal pulak?

Aku : Yer lah itu hari masa Ayah study kat UK, kita jalan pergi Manchester jer.

(Apa barang Manchester?)

Ayah : Hurm, bila nak pergi? Kau nak sponsor ker?

Aku : Er… (tak mampu berkata apa2…)

Bini aku dah sengih2 dari jauh.

Moral : Jangan tanya yang bukan2 kepada bapa kita di bulan yang mulia ini.

Sekian.

Isnin, 9 Ogos 2010

Pabila Nek Ma Bersuara.

Senario 1

Nek Ma : Mesti Ain cakap, "Ibu saya dah bersalin, tapi ayah saya mengandung..."

Aperkah?


Senario 2

Selepas meniup lilin harijadi, (betapa singkatnya hidup di dunia ini...)

Nek Ma : Eh, Aida x tiup lagi. Pasang balik lilin tue...

Aperkah?


Pija dah wat muka, "aperkah ini semua?"

Lol

All in all it was a good celebration.

Everyone was there.

Enjoice.


P/s : Dad gave me a great book. Kak bib, what did u get?

hehe.

Khamis, 29 Julai 2010

30


So, 30 years ago Puan Halijah gave birth to Encik Zainul 1st son, Mohd Azlan.

The rest is history.

LOL

Thank you for the early prize (ma wifey!), facebook wishes (frens & family) & sms wishes (dedek ko memang rare!)

Here's for being 30.

If i gonna die 60, bring it on mid life crisis...

Hehe.

Rabu, 14 Julai 2010

Post World Cup Disorder

I kept posting World Cup status on my Facebook.

Yabib told me I had a Post World Cup Disorder.

Seriously man, u got to miss World Cup.

It came once in 4 years.

Next World Cup will be in Brazil 2014.

Damn man. I will be 34 and Ain will be 4 years old.

Maybe that time I will buy cute little England jersey for her.

LOL

How was your World Cup?

Did your team win?

Did you make some money while at it?

LOL

As for me, England Suck Royal Ass man…

Malaysia?

As long as Sultan bola reigns, no chance in Hell man…

HAHA

Selasa, 6 Julai 2010

Changes

Expectations are high.

A mother wants the best for them child.

A father wants the same either.

A wife wants the best out of his husband.

Let alone the child.

Sometimes, people expecting too much

In the end, they got frustrated because expectations are too high to achieve.

As a pessimist, I don't expect much.

Therefore, no frustration

Right?

It's not I don't want to change.

It's the lazy me who need not to embrace the change.

Why?

Because I am me

Lazy me

So?

U can babble all you want, forwarding those self improve email and what not.

In the end of the day,

I will always be me.

I am what I am.

Peace.

Aran 'wtf England?' Zedo

Khamis, 10 Jun 2010

The Trap

Life is full of traps.

Your education loan is a trap.

Buying a house is a trap.

Buying that shining new car is a trap.

There's always a trap.

Don't let me start on your credit card. (Ha ha!)

They want you to be in debt for the rest of your lives...

So, have you fallen in THE TRAP?

Khamis, 3 Jun 2010

CV Updated

I just updated my CV.

Insted of single, i changed to married.

LOL.

And some experience shit.

Whatever.

:P

Isnin, 31 Mei 2010

Tak tahu, Tanya?

Yesterday, i was buying a box of breastpad for wifey since currently stocks are fin.

The cashier boy, out of nowhere asked me,

"Bang, yang nie untuk lelaki ker? "

OMG !!!

Below are my answers for the uninformed one.

"Eh, takdelah nie utk org umah. Dia menyusu budak, nanti susu meleleh pulak. Kan..?"

As fast as he could scan the product and i paid happily ever after.

I knew the concept, 'x tahu, TANYA...'

But this one is a different case.

SERIOUSLY.

:)

Selasa, 25 Mei 2010

Common Sense Is Dead

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Sabtu, 17 April 2010

Ain / Welcome little girl.


(this update long due oledi...)

23rd March 2010, 1:15 am. 3.31kg (b-caesar some more),
she was born.

Nek Ma named her Nur Hidayah.

Aunty Ila aka Mak Ngah Yabib named her Nur Aini Hidayah.


Aini ? Seriously Yabib ?


We(yours truly & wifey) decided to named her, Nur Ain Hidayah.

Therefore, everyone wins. (I guess.)


Welcome sayang, to this world. (yg penuh pancaroba, kata nek ma)

Ayah & ibu will always love u.
Muah.

p/s: nanti lu orang tgh azan / iqamah anak lu orang baru berasa.

Hee. :P

Khamis, 25 Februari 2010

... less ... more

Drive less, walk more.
Throw less, recycle more.
Eat out less, cook more.
Fight less, love more.
Depend less, be independent more.
Scold less, listen more.
Watch less, read more.
Spend less, save more.
Buy less, donate more.
Smoke less, exercise more.
Gossip less, think more.
Party less, stay home more.
Break less, work more.
Eat less, move more.

Forgive more, forget more.

Selasa, 26 Januari 2010

azlan yg 'bodoh'

di suatu petang nan indah,
telefon ku berbunyi,
hq call, ec office katanya,
bertanyakan tentang certificate,
aku terkelu,
berani kerana benar,bukan?
lalu aku cerita a-z,
dia pun angguk tanda faham,
(macam lah nampak, kan?)
panggilan tamat.
tiba2 aku termenung jauh,
mungkin dah tiba masa,
aku sambung belajar...

azlan yg 'bodoh'

'bodoh' - tiada certificate / kertas yg diiktiraf kerajaan.

heh.

:P

Selasa, 5 Januari 2010

04.12.09

thank god for a wonderful evening,
thank you mum & dad for a superb wedding,
thank you apit & sheemi for emceeing,
thank you pak mer & ishi for ushering,
thank you pija & ayid for singing,
thank you rizal & o.g for best man-ing / maid-ing,
thank you family & friends for coming.

lastly, thank you my dear wife for everything.

i love u.

*hugs* & *kisses*

(gila lendir sial gua... hik!)

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